Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, 
while loving someone deeply gives you courage. 
~Lao Tzu

Marriage affords human beings many benefits including comfort, joy, belonging, family, and shared experiences throughout life. Within the lifetime of a marriage, challenges will naturally arise. How difficult times are navigated will either soothe suffering and bridge emotional distance, or lead to deepening unhappiness.

With no maps or blueprints to follow, we all do our best when we marry. Our best, however, involves doing only what we know. When two people relate in ways that become fixed and unsatisfying for one or both partners, the marriage will have what I call ‘growing pains.’ Therefore, we must grow…or grow apart.

Any perceived limits, however don’t, necessarily, signal ‘the end.’ Discontent, emotional pain, boredom, even unhappiness signal ‘it’s time,’ not for giving up or giving in, but for learning more about what it takes to be in relationship in a way that yields greater satisfaction.

When a couple comes into my office, they are hurting. When they tell me their story, I am listening for a deep understanding of their unique perspectives, and with respect for their experience. Together, we work toward identifying their individual and relational strengths; the problems that brought them to this point; and specific action steps leading to mutually desirable solutions.

Marriage is a unique, one of a kind relationship. We know from healthy, loving marriages, couples must work as a team to get through the difficult times, so as to fully enjoy all the benefits. Learning how to be more who one is and, also work more as a team, affords individuals and couples in living a more richly rewarding life.